Watching Twilight For the First Time

• OH MY GOSH THEIR HANDS BRUSHED. THE ROMANCE!

• Controversial opinion alert: They had as much chemistry as Snape and Lily

• That is to say: none

• Oh man she just figured out he's a vampire. This drama is just INSANE

• AHHHHH Edward is sparkling in the sunlight!

• Edward: I've killed people before. Bella: I don't care. I trust you

• #healthyrelationship

• Why are they just staring at each other?

• Bella says she's unconditionally in love with Edward right after she says he thirsts for her blood

• She's offended that everyone's staring at her but her relationship is all staring

• Edward's all like "look I can't tell you anything" and then immediately tells her everything

• Taylor Lautner's wig is just...so bad

• Carlisle is everything, no irony, completely serious, I love him. 

• I love how Edward is just the seventh wheel of his family. Like everyone else is dating each other. Also Alice is a HORRIBLE actor. I'll blame the writing. Her lines are so bad

• All the vampires (except Rosalie and Carlisle) go to high school over and over again. But they don't have to. They look old enough to have at least graduated. They could pretend to be adults. They don't HAVE to keep going through high school.

• Oh my gosh the spider monkey line! Yes!

• Edward randomly playing the piano. Yep. 

• Everyone in town knows she's dating Edward except her dad. It's so awkward.

• Ew Edward just randomly jumped through her window

• Oh now it's the "I watch you sleep" line

• EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

• HOW IS THIS ROMANCE

• Their first kiss is more awkward than mine.

• I love Charlie just cleaning his shotgun when he meets Edward

• Every dad in this movie is the best character

• The baseball scene! I am so ready for this

• [The acting, the story, the grim settings and terrible cinematography.] It all comes together to one HORRIBLE movie. It's a masterpiece really

• Oh man this slow-motion

• What is with the monkey metaphors?

• All the zooms on characters' eyes. Everything in this movie is so awkward

• Do their fangs ever come out? Humans growling at each other with no fangs is really weird to watch

• Poor Charlie. Bella's trying to leave to protect him but he just wants to be a good dad

• He's not as "absentee" as this movie would like us to believe. He's a good person

• Bella's been dating Edward for three months AT THE VERY MOST (based on the prom timeline we learn earlier". And already Bella's part of the family and Edward's "life" 

• "I've never given much thought to how I would die" is just a dumb line

• I'm laughing at the most hilarious fight scene

• Okay James bit Bella but it made a regular bite mark not a fang bite mark

• The vampire rules make no sense in this movie

• Also I love how Bella just cowers in pain in the corner. What a hero

• The "sucking the venom" out thing that they do in this movie and other vampire movies makes no sense. You can't completely clean blood without going through all of it. 

• I've seen medical dramas so obviously I know my stuff

• How did Carlisle explain to the doctors why Bella had a bite mark on her arm?

• Bella has separation issues

• Didn't she break her thigh bone? Why is her cast around her ankle?

• ​Her prom dress is pretty though

• Jacob just mysteriously wandering around the woods for no reason to stalk Bella

• Bella wore a sweater over her pretty dress for the pictures. She dumb

• You can tell it's not a real prom because no one's mashing and all the guys still have their suit jackets on

• I'm proud to not be a part of the "girl can't dance" cliche

• ugh their kisses are so awkward